Und täglich grüßt das Murmeltier

[The post title is the German title for the film Groundhog day. The literal translation would be “Every day the groundhog says hi” though “same old, same old” is much more appropriate.]

I’ve said a few days ago that I’ve been noticing recurring patterns in my life, something I was quite glad at finally realising as I never did before, though at the same time this realisation hasn’t really helped. I could analyse and watch myself make the same mistakes I made in 2006. Then 2007 and 2008 and, to an extension though much more subdued, last year. And it makes me wonder how it’s possible for me to have the same problems at the same time when my life has been so different each of those times. I’ve lived in four different places with different people working different jobs and have different patterns though they always ended up going the same direction.

All this aside, this year feels slightly different. When I say slightly, I mean I’m not quite convinced by it myself yet. I’m busy with work, even though I was actually working more this time last year; I am fairly content in my day to day life, even though I still feel isolated at times which is entirely my own doing; and I’m generally at least trying to be happy to see the positive side of things which is something that normally comes easy!

Today will be difficult, it’s been 11 years since my mother died and it’s not helped with some of the issues I have with my family which has resulted in no contact on close to a year now. But today is also a happy day or rather it should be as today is also the 13th anniversary of my confirmation a time during which I was very happy.

But I’ll get over it I’m sure and then there are always cute things like this to look forward to:

Note: I realise the post’s rather emo nature and, just like anything else posted in the personal category, is here not necessarily because I’m a hundred percent comfortable with sharing this on my overall online identity, but more because this is the best place to post this mainly for myself. Whilst comments are welcome I reserve the right to moderate more strictly then perhaps on the rest of the blog. Thanks!