This was a bit of a rubbish weekend following a rubbish week and I’m going to Germany tomorrow and Tuesday which I don’t expect to lighten my mood in the slightest.
I believe one of two things will happen, one being that I realise how much I like my life in the UK and I’ll feel elated upon my return or, the more likely, that it’ll just make me angry and feel worse about everything. Both have happened before, so we’ll see which one it’ll be this time. I can hardly wait.
I’ve been messaging with some more distant friends this week. A couple of them I’ve not spoken to in months mostly due to us living far apart and being busy. All three conversations went the same way:
Me: How are you / it’s been a while / how did xyz go / btw, I’m near you next week, fancy meeting up / do you have any plans later in the year.
Them: I’m fine / great to hear from you / I’ve been up to this and that / I’m busy / how are you.
Me: Life’s meh / brief recap of 2011 so far / shame you can’t make it.
So far so good. However, then all of them answered the same way by using meaningless phrases such as ‘Life would be boring if there wasn’t something in it’ or ‘ah well, such is life’.
That’s the best you can do?
Former very close friends who don’t even include a ‘are you ok, anything I can do’?
There are other posts on this blog which talk about how much I appreciate friends I’ve met online and how I’ve relied on them in the past. I often say ‘if there’s anything I can do, please ask’ to people I know on Twitter and have been taken up on it a few times. Yet for some reason I hesitate doing the same.
This weekend has mostly been lost. I spent the entirety of it in bed and most of it sleeping or apprehensive about tomorrow’s trip. I wish I didn’t have to go.