I’m noticing a theme in the past few weeks; I’m making decisions that I’ve not done in a long time.
None of them are major and this isn’t some sort of life affirming or life changing stuff, but I’m making decisions that make me more grounded in what I’m doing and what I want to be doing and just generally things that cement my current life. For example today I have finally sorted out my bookcase which isn’t a big thing, but it’s a change from before where I just had them all pretty much thrown in. I have bought stuff lately, such as furniture or pictures.
The past nine months have been pretty all over the place. I have moved several times and just generally found myself on the run from something, trying not to get settled, because the last time I did I was burgled and lost soulcat.
However, in the past month I have realised that perhaps this wasn’t as bad as I am making it out to be. I know I was unhappy in the flat as I had a bad time and, thanks to friends, I have fallen on my feet this year, even though it has also been a rubbish year. All in all I have come to realise that my attitude has changed. Gone is the destructiveness of 2010 and 2011 part 1 and I am moving on. Moving on to being happier. Moving on to concentrating on other things. Moving on to be doing what I want to do.
Always in life I have believed that I life is what defines us, our life experiences shape who we are and who we have become and I like who I have become now. I am doing much better than I did in all of 2010 and whilst there is still a lot to improve on, I am finally ready to say that, given the choice, I wouldn’t change a thing.